Holding my heart

My self discovery routines

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Since Mid 2023, I’ve been doing therapy twice a week, took a course on how to do therapy for myself and others (compassionate inquiry), read a lot of books for someone else then myself. In this time, I’ve found some practices or habits that are very helpful in learning to love myself more. Here they are, listed without much detail. When I can get around to it, I’ll add standalone pages for each one and link them to here. Let me know in the comments below if you have any such habits yourself!

  1. Body Scan + Self Inquiry:
    • The moment I notice myself judging myself or others: I put the judgmental thoughts aside for just 10 minutes. For me, it is important that I don’t judge the judgmental thoughts. I need my intent to be “Hey judgmental thoughts, since the situation isn’t urgent right now, I’m just going to set you aside for 10-30 minutes and look at what else is going on inside me.” The important thing for me is that the intent is not judgmental is kind. Then I begin the process.
    • Likewise, when I feel otherwise dysregulated in some way: frantic mind, shame, self hatred, or anxiety are the main emotions that have learned something about myself through with this routine.
  2. Compassion > Judgement: I have an intensely strong belief that this is the essence of self discovery and transformation, pleasant interpersonal relationships, and good therapy. I’ll write a page about it soon, but it’ll be a while. I want to make sure it’s good. lots of sources I want to cite.
  3. Morning body scan meditation: This is like Technique 1, but I do it for longer, and focus on the breath without trying to remember thoughts. I do it to pursue the path laid out in Buddhism. I’m not super certain of the benefits yet, and am working out the connections with every day non-monastic life. Will comment when I’m more sure and more knowledgable. In short, meditation can be thought of creating the ability to be with yourself the same way you should strive to sit with a friend and just try to understand them and their emotions, without judgement. Meditation is about as healing for you as listening is for them. It’s no coincidence that we hire therapists to do this for us. Learning to it for yourself is just harder, but FREE!
  4. …. and many more to be discovered.